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Keep your Commitments and your Critters

2/26/2014

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One question I got from a lot of people while I was pregnant was, "Are you going to keep your dogs?"  I was shocked the first time I was asked the question, then I realized so many people asked the question and to them it was a normal thing to get rid of dogs before having a baby.  That made me so sad.

Here is the issue as I see it:  When you take on any pet, you make a commitment to caring for another living thing.  One of the best lessons that I can teach my children is to honor their commitments and responsibilities.  What kind of message would it send to just get rid of my dogs?  It would send one of irresponsibility and one of not valuing living things.  

I have heard people make all sorts of excuses like the dogs are crazy, they require too much attention, the bird screams too much.  No matter the excuse, it isn't valid.  You made a commitment.  Honor it.  

If you are worried, get to training your dogs or other animals before the baby comes!  Remember to keep up training after the baby comes too.  One of the best methods I have found with mine is to use a really high quality food as training treats.  I know they are getting good food instead of the corn meal they try to pass off as dog treats, but they still enjoy it because it is different than their regular food.  To keep treats readily accessible I used one of my rice cereal containers and filled it with the dog food.  This allowed me to keep it on the counter without it being stinky and still readily available.  (For other animals, using novel healthy food appropriate for the animal also works.)

Now for the most difficult part, catch them doing something good!  That's right, any time you see good behavior that you want them to keep doing, give them a treat.  Since you are giving them actual food, and small single pieces, you don't have to be worried about empty calories or unnecessarily high in sugar/fat treats.  They will learn quickly the behavior you want.  Ignore the behavior you don't want.  When the kiddos do come, hopefully you will have such a great relationship with your animals that you kids can enjoy having them as part of the family too.  All this being said, no matter how good your relationship is with your pets, do not leave your children unattended with any pet.  

Keep your commitments and your kids too!  



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Best Fever Reducer!

11/21/2013

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First, my apologies for being out of the blog world for a bit ... we have had some recent health challenges in our family.  BUT, this is how I re-discovered the best fever reducer ever and added a Mommy McD twist.  The awesome part is that you already have this at home and you never have to go out to the store to reduce a fever.

I remember my mom throwing me in ice cold baths when I had a temperature and HATING it!  Well I didn't want to do that to my 10 month old ... he sure can't understand why he is shivering and freezing.  So I did some research and found that a cool bath is still the best, but ice cold ones, no bueno!  You want the bath cool enough to reduce the temp but not cold enough to make their body try to compensate by raising their temp even more (always check with your doctor first on any medical treatments).

My 10 month old had been running a fever of 102 and higher for over a week (we did have him checked by the doc and they said it was just a virus, so to keep the fever down if he becomes uncomfortable.)  He already had to be on lots of medication for a bacterial infection earlier in the week and I didn't want to keep loading him with medicines ... so it was time for a bath! 

1. Use the kitchen sink.  It is small and cozy and you can be right there without having to bend or stoop uncomfortably yourself.

2. Make the water tolerable.  I have been starting with the "average" body temp of 98.6 degrees.

3. Bring out all sorts of things they don't normally get to play with.  I brought out spoons, measuring cups, plastic cups and the best toy ever ... I actually let him play with the handles on the water (BUT TAKE NOTICE THE FAUCET IS NOT RUNNING INTO HIS BATH.  MAKE SURE YOU ARE WATCHING CAREFULLY TO PREVENT ANY BURNS OR SCALDS).  The point of bringing out new toys is to keep them distracted.

4.  I keep him on the right side of the sink so he has access to turning on and off the cold water.  I take one of the cups he is playing with, fill it with cold water and dump it in the bath one slow cup at a time, continually reducing the water temperature.

5.  Keep checking your water temp on a thermometer and keep a steady hand and eye on your child at ALL times to prevent any falls/injury.

Be sure to ask your doctor to approve any medical advice regarding care of your little one.  


This little trick allows me to get the water nice and cool to reduce his fever and he is so distracted with the faucet and novel toys that he doesn't even notice the temp slowly going down!

Best of luck with your fevers and colds as we get closer to winter. 

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Why I won't take away his bottle ...

10/29/2013

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Oh the dreaded giving up pacifiers and bottles.  There is that magical age that our mothers, doctors, friends, and strangers on the street tell us we are supposed to get our kids off of bottles and pacifiers.  I hear stories of poor kids screaming through the day and night and poor parents hearts wrenching for doing what they think they have to do to make their child give up a bottle or pacifier.  Well I am not doing that to mine! 

Look, every bit of research I have found shows that the only problem with the bottle is if you are giving it to them with juice or milk - you could rot those baby teeth (which are going to fall out anyway).  My recently 3 year old drinks only water in his bottle ... that is all.  Problem solved.

I remember in 3rd grade a couple of the "popular" kids brought bottles to school because they had a younger brother or sister.  It actually started a bizarre 3rd grade bottle craze in my school, I was begging my mom to get one for me.  Ok so I doubt that is normal and most likely my kid is not going to want other kids to see him drink from a bottle when he is 8 or 9, but it isn't like I would rat him out to other kids.  And when he gets old enough to succumb to peer pressure or get made fun of for having a bottle we could switch him to this kind:
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Wow!  Can you believe there is a market for these weird bottles which look like replacement bottles for grown ups?  So all you people sucking the nipples of these drink bottles to get your hydration … maybe your mom should have let you have a pacifier or bottle a little longer too!

Ok but back to being less snarky, why do we really care?  Is it because people will judge us if we let our kid drink out of a bottle or suck on a pacifier longer than the “They” people out there tell us?  I have so many more things on the top of my list, like teaching empathy and kindness to my kiddos … who cares about a bottle?

Have any of you all let your little one keep a bottle or paci longer than “They” say you should?

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Nothing but the breast ... but not my breast!

5/5/2013

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Breast feeding is difficult.  No one really tells you that.  It is terribly difficult.  It requires pumping at least every three hours.  I was trying to feed on demand to also make sure my baby wasn't hungry, but jeez, I made like no milk.  

Every mom has a different body and different capabilities.  I had a breast reduction when I was 19.  I also became really ill with an allergic reaction and the doctors put me on Plaquenil to kill my immune system.  That stuff is toxic and you can't breast feed.  On top of that it has a half life of 50 days, so that means even if I could start breast feeding after stopping the medication, I would have to wait at least 50 days after stopping the medication to start feeding.  Yeesh!  It seemed like the cards were totally stacked against me.  As it was I made almost no milk (seriously, I was so happy if I could pump 2oz a day) and that is not enough to feed a baby.  

I had to supplement formula for my first child and knew I would have to do with the second, but I had not expected to have to do only formula because of the medicines I was having to take to suppress my allergic reaction to we still haven't figured out what.

Then the terrible happened, my newborn started getting really sick.  I know all newborns wheeze like darth vader, they all are snotty, but this just wasn't right.  He had a hard time breathing and was miserable.  I took him to the doctor and his oxygen levels were low.  We couldn't figure out what was wrong, but something wasn't good.  All that runny mucus he had predisposed him to sinus infections and chest infections.  By two months of age my infant had had two very serious chest infections.  I searched everywhere and did whatever doctor hates; I used Google to figure out what was going on.  It was there that I read all about benefits of breast milk and milk banking.  I had also been reading Mayim Bialik's book on motherhood and all of her info on breast milk.  I looked for a milk bank and found one nearby (which was lucky, there are not many).  I pleaded to buy their outpatient milk.  It is 4 dollars an ounce.  Yowza!  A soda can full of breast milk would be 48 bucks!  But I figured at least if I could get him one bottle a week, it might help with his immune system.  I purchased my first bag full of breast milk and started using one a week. 

We switched formulas a bunch of times trying to find one that would work for my kiddo.  He was gassy and colic ridden.  He would scream for hours - 5, 6, 7 hours a night.  Our doctor switched us to the crazy expensive formulas that are supposed to be hypoallergenic.  They didn't work.  Finally, he had gotten so sick and we just brought him back from the ER prescribed to do more steroid breathing treatments, oral steroids, more antibiotics and essentially overdosing him on fever reducers to keep him below 105.  I decided to use the breast milk I was planning on spreading out over a few months.  I defrosted a bunch and started feeding him only breast milk.  His nose cleared up almost immediately.  He got better in two days.  I had enough breast milk for four days.

On the fifth day I switched back to formula.  His nose started running and we had an entire night of screaming.  We visited our doctor the next day and I informed her of what happened.  She said she had prescribed breast milk for NICU patients before but not older babies.  I contacted the milk bank and asked what they needed from the doctor.  She ran fecal tests just to confirm he was in intestinal distress from the formula and from there the milk bank has supplied us with milk for my infant.  I can't even express what a blessing this was or ever thank them enough for keeping my little one healthy.

If you are one of the lucky mom's who is able to donate, please do.  Most milk goes to help NICU babies - but that milk is generally as close to 20 calories as possible.  Not all mammas make 20 calorie milk.  That milk goes to outpatient use for moms like me, ones with older babies who have special needs because of allergies or other problems.

Please think about donating milk, money, and time, whatever you can if you are a mom who can.  If you are a mom in need and have an infant who you think might be severely allergic to formulas like mine, I hope you think about looking into breast milk as an option.

Click here to link to the Mother's Milk Bank of North Texas.  Please share and like them on FB!  They are the ones who helped my little one, but there are a number of other milk banks out there, check out what is in your area!


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Easy homecoming

2/28/2013

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It has been a while since coming home with the new baby, and I have been a busy mommy.  One thing I am so pleased about is how great the homecoming was!  My two year old welcomed the new baby and was so excited to show him our home.

The idea of coming home was scary.  I have heard horror stories and TONS of advice.  The one piece of advice I got from almost everyone was to stop giving my two year old so much attention.  I was told to stop holding him, stop snuggling him, make him do things more on his own ... all this advice about ignoring his needs, and then I thought to myself "this advice is coming from all the people who have given me horror stories about how badly their children have behaved when bringing home a new baby, why in the world would I follow their advice?"  So I didn't.

I gave my two year old so much love and affection (which is straining enough when working full time, let alone with the exhaustion of pregnancy.)  I made extra efforts to snuggle him, to kiss him, to hold him.  I made sure I was seeking him out to play with him and I did what he wanted to do and found every opportunity possible to praise him for good behavior.  I even bought him a number of baby dolls and we pretended that was his new brother (by the way that baby doll helped me train my dogs too). By the last month of my pregnancy, I found my two year old was pushing me away, literally.  He was so secure in the attention he got that he didn't crab for attention all the time; he knew it would be there when he was in need.  This turned out to be great because he contracted RSV right when I was supposed to come home with the new baby.  Doctors said we needed to stay apart for at least 10 days ... 10 days?  Thankfully I had family to help support me.

Now I was scared.  I had done all this prep work and was now MIA as far as he was concerned, for ten days, which seemed like a lot to me but I am sure seemed like an eternity for a two year old.  My husband was still deployed in Afghanistan so he didn't even have a dad to be with either.  I was expecting my horror story.

My mom had a great idea; she suggested getting a present for the kiddos to give to each other.  When I finally got home, I had my mom stay with my newborn in the car and I ran inside the home and greeted my two year old with so many hugs and so much love.  I told him over and over how much I missed him and loved him and was so happy to see him.  When he seemed content that I was back, I said, "Do you want to go meet your new baby brother and give him your present?"  He said, "Yeah."  We went outside to the car and I introduced them.  They exchanged presents (of course the baby could care less, but my older kiddo was ecstatic)! I said to my two year old, "Are you ready to bring him home now?"  He said, "Yeah! Come on brother."  

Now when moms tell me they have a new one coming home and they are scared because of the horror stories they hear, I share mine.  It is what worked for me.  I hope it might work for you, give you an idea or at least give you some hope ... you can have a good homecoming!

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